j.m.c.

And with your soft fingers between my claws
Like purity against resolve
I could tell, then and there, that we were formed from the clay
And came from the rocks for the earth to display

They told me to be careful up there
Where the wind blows a venomous rage through your hair
They told me to be careful up there
Where the wind rages through your hair

Dear World:

I love:

• watching my classroom of kindergarteners fall asleep on top of each other in a pile of friendship.
• my facebook wife of 3 years (on Saturday).
• the always thrilling and surprising friendship of m.l.r.
• that summer is just two days away!
• mint chocolate chip ice cream.
• losing sleep every night because I can’t put Ralph Waldo Emerson down.
• that I’m going to grad school soon!
• not needing much of anything besides a tank of gas and some groceries.
• my, arrestingly soft-spoken, intelligent, big-hearted boyfriend.

j.m.c.

“I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.”

Laziness…

WOW this needs to be updated.

Cautionary Post for Naysayers

We no longer live in the Victorian Era. And if you keep acting as though we do, I am going to do all those filthy things that girls do in novels, OUT OF SPITE.

That is all.

Ruminating…

I would really like girls my age to start using their brains, again.

It’s official.

J.m.c. and I are moving to New Mexico, where I will attend UNM’s graduate school. I will be earning my M.A. in Enlightenment of Adolescents through Imparting of Literature (read: Secondary Education in the Communicative Arts). New Mexico has a pretty thorough licensure program, so going through UNM with a Master’s is the most sensible route, not to mention it will give me ample time to devour shelves full of books whole. These past two weeks, I’ve been compiling a list of reasons I CANNOT EFFING WAIT to move home. Here they are:

1. Green Chile
2. No more rent!
3. Mom’s breakfasts
4. Mom’s lunches
5. Mom’s dinners
6. Mom’s snackable foodsies
7. Going to Costco to buy food with Mom
8. New Mexican food
9. All the food in New Mexico
10. Food
11. Ralph
12. Getting to live in a house with Skye AND Ralph
13. My giant bed (Oh, how I have missed thee and thine snuggley ways)
14. Listening to Jakub talk. Example: Last night, we stopped in at a Steakhouse for dinner as a family. Jakub took a look at the guy in the lounge, and said: “They have a guy in there playing the shit.” My mom told him she didn’t know that was an instrument, and I asked him if he knew how to play one. He shook his head at our utter LACK of hipness and re-educated us: “It’s a Negro expression.” Later, at about 9:45 that night, he started blasting some Snoop, and when I asked him to turn it down because I was waking up at 4 this morning to fly out, he said. “No, homie. You have to wait for this song to end. I have to get FLY.” Then he started dancing around his room and made a move like shooting a basketball in the air and yelled “O-OH!”
15. Salsa classes with Julio
16. Dry, beautiful air.
17. LESS. DRIVING.
18. A vast, exponential decrease in megachurches.
19. Dear j.m.c.’s curfew: good-bye forever!
20. Reclaiming a New Mexico Driver’s license.

Reasons I will be sad to leave Texas:

1. Significant decrease in availability of Sno Cones
2. Good-bye, water and plants that are not dead weeds.
3. …yeah.

Also, today I am wearing a hat. Yesterday I found the cardigan of my dreams. Thursday, Karla informed me that “Maestra, tu eres una buena maestra.” Did I mention that Wednesday morning I totaled my car? Yay, life.

Because Cranberry Juice is a POOR FUCKING SUBSTITUTE.

Lately I’ve wanted

• to put those pictures into an album.
• a snow cone machine in my own house.
• to fall asleep on the couch with my mom.
• more food than your average bear (literally).
• to ask dooce if she forgot about me, or if I did something to make her mad.
• it to be summer already.
• more sleep than I’m getting.
• to make some new friends.
• a mountain of sushi.
• to be impervious to anxiety,
• or a truckload of medication.

I do not jest about the snow cone. The need goeth unfulfilled.

Undertones

The distinction
between
inviting someone into your house,
and
welcoming someone into your home
is
a thin shade of condescension.

Ruminating

I think that you have done an unfathomably hateful thing.